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Stop Worshipping Resilience

Note: this is part 1 out 5 part series of newsletters to help you Build Your Resilience Toolbox


I started my business 4 years ago exclusively doing resilience and mindfulness training and coaching for organizations with a goal of reducing stress and increasing productivity. This steam is less than 20% of my practice. There is a very good reason for it.

Over the years, I’ve guided hundreds of individuals through my workshops, programs, and coaching sessions. While many experienced immediate relief and improved well-being, I observed a pattern: for some, these positive changes were short-lived 😕

Part of this challenge can be attributed to the complexity of changing human behaviors.

Yet, I noticed a more profound trend👇

Merely enhancing resilience often exacerbated larger underlying issues, demanding even higher levels of resilience

For instance, I was brought in to assist teams in coping with change, yet their managers failed to effectively  understand, manage and communicate change. In such cases, the root cause lies in the managers’ effectiveness.

Frequent organizational changes due to the lack of a cohesive strategy is another example.

In both scenarios, while helping employees develop greater resilience was beneficial, it wasn’t as impactful as it could be if manager or leadership effectiveness was also addressed.

In individual coaching, particularly in the post-Covid era, I’ve encountered a prevailing sense of assumed helplessness. Many individuals create narratives in their heads, believing circumstances cannot be changed. They seek more resilience tools when, in reality, they should challenge the situations they face. I have made the same mistake myself.

It’s like relying on painkillers (aka resilience) to numb the pain without delving into the root cause.

Please understand.

We live in a very overwhelming world that our minds and bodies were not designed for. So yes, one must invest in managing themselves.

But one also has an obligation – to investigate the root cause.

Otherwise, over rewarding personal resilience for yourself or others can perpetuate flawed management practices and toxic behaviors in the workplace and life. Organizations also have to play their part.

And at times, your best course of actions is to either change or remove yourself from the situation (vs. being more resilient in the situation).

In the next parts, I will share the golden nuggets accumulated and tested by years of practice and research on what is resilience, what is stress, why we are so stressed these days and follow with my favorite frameworks and tools.

And I can guarantee you, that if you read, contemplate and apply what makes sense to you, you will feel more resilient!

But… you have to promise to analyze the root cause of the circumstances. And if you need help dissecting and seeing through the narratives and overwhelm, I am happy to help.

{and a shameless plug: remember that BeckerLeadership is here for ya to help individuals rediscover joy of leadership and build highly cohesive leadership teams through bespoke team offsites, workshops and coaching)

👋 I’ll see you in the next part 2 newsletter where we explore what resilience is and is not to help you build your resilience toolbox!



Hi, I’m Nataliya Becker

I’m an Executive Coach & Team Facilitator. I work with forward thinking organizations and growth seeking leaders to rediscover joy of leading, create connection and supercharge performance of the leadership teams. Using my “nerdy mind with a hippy heart,” I bring a diverse range of analytical and intuitive approaches to 1:1 coaching, team facilitation, bespoke retreats, and leadership programming.

If you found this article helpful, consider signing up for my newsletter, A Cup of Connection, packed with observations and practical tools for your career & life.

Let’s connect! Find me on LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/nataliyabecker

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